i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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