You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
