we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
