Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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