she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize