Where is the hickey?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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