Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
