she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize