it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
