Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
