so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
