everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
