You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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