ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Drunk is not a location!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
