I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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