I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize