i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
