you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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