If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
