yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
