We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize