well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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