I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
