Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
