My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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