Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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