i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
