On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Mom said you looked used
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
