East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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