Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
