i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize