tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
