I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
