Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Everything about him screamed your future.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
