just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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