I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
