Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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