THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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