Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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