Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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