i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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