I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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