Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
