we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
