Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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