Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
