of course. lets lasso hookers.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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