Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
