Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
