Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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