SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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