when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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