I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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