these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
