Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just forgot I was standing up.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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