Don't you send me to vm
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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