bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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