I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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