He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
