Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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