I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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