A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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