So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize