There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
