pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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