just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
