do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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