It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
