Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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