I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
