just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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