Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you would pick up someone in the library
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
