Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
